In and Out?
Ok, it's been a long ass time since I've posted but a lot has gone on. Most notably, I quit my job, moved to TX for 2 months to expand my business (*which if U wanna make some money, shoot me an email) and I was also working on finished up my third cd.
The cd is being mixed, the job is officially long gone, and now I'm TX staying with my dad and working with him to expand this business ... which brings me 2 the point of this post.
I've long since been OUT. In fact, there are only 5 people in this world close 2 me who don't know that I'm into boys and for the next 2 months I'm living with 2 of them. Yowsers! It's been a long time since I've been in the closet, but oh, the habits come back quickly. Thankfully, I have my own laptop and it stays on lockdown!
I know, I know ... how could anyone who knows me possibly NOT know I'm gay? I dunno. Maybe they do know, but I just haven't said anything ... and I don't intend 2.
Does that make me a hypocrite? Especially with my song "I'm Coming Out" ... I mean I didn't call it "I'm Coming Out ... except for a toe". It's so ridiculous, my dad asked 2 hear my latest CD and I'm still figuring out ways to put that experience off! I can just imagine him listening 2 a song like "Boy 2 Boy" or even worse, heaven forbid, seeing my music video. The poor man would probably pass out.
In any case, me and my dad have not been very close through the years and it just so happens I feel like we are finally getting closer now than we've ever been before. I always thought by working a business together it would naturally bring us closer and I was right. We ARE alike in so many ways it's kind of eerie. So, why jeopardize all that now? I also don't want 2 put our business into jeopardy either because I have absolutely no idea how he'd react if I told him. At this point, I figure it would be kind of selfish of me 2 say anything about it. That's the rationale I used with my grandparents anyway. They are from a different generation and I KNOW how they feel about it ... so why break their hearts this late in the game?
I did broach the subject with my Dad recently. He's a Jehovah's Witness so I asked, in the middle of a lengthy conversation on religion and the Bible, how they viewed homosexuality ...
"It's NOT accepted."
Of course it isn't. I don't know if I'll ever be able to reconcile my sexuality with any sort of religion, I'm still working on that one. I do know I stopped feeling sorry for it years and years ago and life has been so much better for it.
So, to keep up the facade or 2 smash it all in, that is the question. I could go on indefinitely not letting my dad and my grandparents truly know who I am under the notion that it's better 4 them that they don't know ... but is it really?
What do U think?
"Everybody's got a right 2 luv, everybody's got a right 2 lie. The choice U make, it ain't no piece of cake, it ain't no muthafuckin' muthafuckin' piece of pie." - Prince, The Truth
The cd is being mixed, the job is officially long gone, and now I'm TX staying with my dad and working with him to expand this business ... which brings me 2 the point of this post.
I've long since been OUT. In fact, there are only 5 people in this world close 2 me who don't know that I'm into boys and for the next 2 months I'm living with 2 of them. Yowsers! It's been a long time since I've been in the closet, but oh, the habits come back quickly. Thankfully, I have my own laptop and it stays on lockdown!
I know, I know ... how could anyone who knows me possibly NOT know I'm gay? I dunno. Maybe they do know, but I just haven't said anything ... and I don't intend 2.
Does that make me a hypocrite? Especially with my song "I'm Coming Out" ... I mean I didn't call it "I'm Coming Out ... except for a toe". It's so ridiculous, my dad asked 2 hear my latest CD and I'm still figuring out ways to put that experience off! I can just imagine him listening 2 a song like "Boy 2 Boy" or even worse, heaven forbid, seeing my music video. The poor man would probably pass out.
In any case, me and my dad have not been very close through the years and it just so happens I feel like we are finally getting closer now than we've ever been before. I always thought by working a business together it would naturally bring us closer and I was right. We ARE alike in so many ways it's kind of eerie. So, why jeopardize all that now? I also don't want 2 put our business into jeopardy either because I have absolutely no idea how he'd react if I told him. At this point, I figure it would be kind of selfish of me 2 say anything about it. That's the rationale I used with my grandparents anyway. They are from a different generation and I KNOW how they feel about it ... so why break their hearts this late in the game?
I did broach the subject with my Dad recently. He's a Jehovah's Witness so I asked, in the middle of a lengthy conversation on religion and the Bible, how they viewed homosexuality ...
"It's NOT accepted."
Of course it isn't. I don't know if I'll ever be able to reconcile my sexuality with any sort of religion, I'm still working on that one. I do know I stopped feeling sorry for it years and years ago and life has been so much better for it.
So, to keep up the facade or 2 smash it all in, that is the question. I could go on indefinitely not letting my dad and my grandparents truly know who I am under the notion that it's better 4 them that they don't know ... but is it really?
What do U think?
"Everybody's got a right 2 luv, everybody's got a right 2 lie. The choice U make, it ain't no piece of cake, it ain't no muthafuckin' muthafuckin' piece of pie." - Prince, The Truth
posted by Saturn at
8:03 PM
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